


It Takes A Thief

by MachineQueen



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles X
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-06-01 05:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MachineQueen/pseuds/MachineQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a spate of burglaries in the residential district of New LA, Hope sets out to catch the criminals. She needs some assistance and so Cross introduces her to the Murderess.<br/>ABANDONED for now, despite my good intentions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of Miran air in the morning was sweet to the Murderess: the scent of the breeze coming off the alien sea filled her belly with a warm fizz of excitement and expectation. She had walked the circumference of New LA, ran among the crystals that had been humanity’s salvation. But that wasn’t what she was doing today. 

Her bank balance was looking a little lower than she’d like. And the city wasn’t so different from the ones on Earth. It was still full of people with more money than sense and who, more importantly, didn’t watch where they were keeping their wallets. The only xenoforms Murderess hadn’t managed to pickpocket were the Nopon. These critters she grudgingly respected- they perhaps valued money nearly as much as she did. 

She slipped into the commercial district with practised ease and looked for her mark. She could tell which humans were rich just by looking at them so they were by far the easiest targets, but she was also learning to tell what indicated wealth in the different alien races too. The wealthy Prone carried war trophies strapped around their waists; the Ma’non wore shiny technological trinkets.

Just as she had selected a Ma’non lingering outside the jewellery store, a loud pattering on the pavement forced her to a halt. People didn’t usually tear around the commercial district...but there was one exception. She turned to see a young woman she had come to know well, a young woman who simply called herself Cross, intently staring at her. She had another woman with her too. Luckily for Murderess it wasn’t the bore known as Elma, neither was it the overly earnest Lin Lee or the downright annoying Irina. She had long dark hair and everything about her looked gentle.

“I don’t have time for a mission right now, sweetie,” Murderess said to Cross. “Move along. Nothing to see here.”

Cross looked straight at the Ma’non that had been Murderess’s mark. Then she looked back to Murderess and decisively stepped between them, blocking Murderess’s view. 

Murderess sighed. “Fine. Whatever you want, there better be plenty of credits in it for me.”

Cross nodded, her grin wicked.

Then she introduced the dark haired woman as Hope. Murderess had heard about Hope before. How she was a relentless do gooder, how she helped anyone who asked her without question. For all that, her handshake was firmer than Murderess expected even though her eyes looked innocent and gullible. 

“Your reputation proceeds you,” said Murderess, unable to keep the curl from her lips.

“As does yours,” said Hope coolly. Cooler than Murderess was expecting.

“What can I say? It’s all true,” said Murderess with a wink at Cross, who gave her a cattish grin in return. Murderess knew it was a cheap tactic but charming Cross was always a fun pastime.

“I need to catch a thief,” said Hope. “And Cross tells me you’re just the woman for the job.”

Murderess dropped Hope’s hand. Her blood ran cold. Had she been rumbled? Was she going to be handed over to the authorities? Just like that?

XxX

Minutes later and Murderess’s freedom was still (luckily) intact. 

Cross had been called away by Elma for an urgent mission. Murderess had clamoured to go with her, thinking the whole business with Hope might be forgotten if she was busy infiltrating Ganglion bases. Cross turned her down and insisted Murderess and Hope work on the robbery case together in her absence. And that was how the Murderess and Hope came to be sitting opposite one another in a coffee shop, drinking some bonkers new flavour of coffee dreamt up by one of the Wrothians. It was...fishy.

“The robberies have taken place every day for a week in the residential district,” Hope began. 

“I don’t do anything as common as _house burglaries_ ,” spat Murderess. “So I should hope that I’m not a suspect.”

“You’re not,” said Hope, to Murderess’s surprise. “Cross said it wasn’t your M.O. But you know what they say…”

“Something like ‘Blame everything on the poor Murderess’?” 

Hope ignored her flippancy. “‘It takes a thief to catch a thief.’”

“So that’s why you’ve dragged me into this,” said Murderess. “And why should I help you when you could hand me over to the authorities for the same crime at any second?”

“There are a few reasons,” said Hope. “The main one being that BLADE is fully aware of your criminal activities already. They just don’t have any evidence to detain you with. And you’re too useful to BLADE to put behind bars. At least, that’s the case according to Cross’s mission reports.”

“Hmph,” said Murderess. “So I get to do what I want and they won’t stop me?”

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It took some of the sport away. 

“They’re watching you to make sure you don’t step over the line,” said Hope. “And if you try anything funny with me- well, Cross is keeping an eye on things.”

Murderess had to admit that she wasn’t keen for a taste of Cross’s blades. On the other hand she was curious about where the ‘line’ was and what she had to do to go over it. Perhaps it was something she might experiment with. 

“Cross is halfway across Mira chasing rainbows. I can do what I want,” said Murderess. To her satisfaction, Hope flinched.

“There’s credits in it if you help me,” said Hope. She named a figure. Murderess fought to keep her expression from slipping into ‘impressed’.

“As a BLADE, it’s clearly my duty to help where I can,” said Murderess, sweetly sardonic. “I accept the mission.”

Hope dropped her stern expression for one of pure relief. “Whew. That was easier than I thought!” she said. 

Murderess laughed. “Come now. I’m nice enough when you get to know me, aren’t I?”

Hope shook her head. “This is only the beginning,” she said. “And I’ve been warned not to trust you.”

“It’s not nice to judge someone before you know them. And I heard you were a nice girl, Hope.”

To Murderess’s gratification, Hope blushed. This, thought the Murderess, was going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

Hope explained that she had tracked down a witness that she wanted to interview. She and Murderess were to make their way to the Ma’non ship to meet her. Murderess wasn't overly keen on using the teleporter (what if it part of her got lost somehow?) but she wasn't about to admit that to Hope. She instead opted to try a bit more verbal sparring to take her mind off it as they wandered through NLA together. Next to her swords, she knew her tongue was her best weapon. 

“So I’ll play bad cop to your good one,” drawled Murderess. “That’s what you want, right?”

“We’re not interrogating her,” said Hope. “It’s just a friendly chat to confirm what she saw.”

“‘Friendly’,” the Murderess pulled a mock ‘thinking face’, finger under chin. “Nope. Don’t seem to have that in my vocabulary.”

Hope looked aghast and Murderess laughed. “I'm just joking, sweetie. I'm as friendly as they come.”

They reached the teleporter. Murderess couldn't help but hesitate. Was it too late to suggest they go and get their skells from the hangar and fly up instead? Once she’d teleported there, she’d have to teleport back, meaning she’d have to do this twice and she wasn’t exactly keen on the once.

“Something wrong?” asked Hope, interrupting her panicked thoughts.

“N-no,” said Murderess. 

“Come on, then,” said Hope, offering a hand.

Forgetting herself for a moment, Murderess took it and she and Hope disappeared together.

On the other side, aboard the Ma’non ship, much to Murderess’s embarrassment, her hand was still in Hope’s. Hope smiled at her, genuinely, and one part of Murderess wanted to slap her and the other part didn't want to let her go. 

“No need to be afraid,” said Hope.

Murderess turned her face away. “The witness said they’d meet us on the starboard side, didn’t they?” she muttered. Her conflicting feelings were confusing and she wasn't sure she wanted Hope to know about any of them, good or bad. To her gratitude, Hope didn't make any further comment. 

XxX

The first witness was a Ma’non who had been wandering the residential district in search of pizza. 

“I got awfully lost, you know?” said the creature, her red eyes pained. She had given her name but Murderess found it difficult to pronounce. Hope had got it right first time, her tongue wrapping round the syllables as though she’d been saying such names all her life. 

“That’s understandable,” soothed Hope. “NLA can be overwhelming when you’re not used to it.”

“So about the robberies,” said Murderess, keen to cut to the chase. Hope gave her a nod. 

“I saw a skell in the sky shortly after the time the first robbery took place. It was pretty far up but I’d say it was a human model, an Urban type, I think?”

“You think or you know?” demanded Murderess. She put her face close to the Ma’non’s and delivered her best glare. 

“I think? At least I'm fairly certain?” stuttered the poor creature.

“We need you to be one hundred percent sure if we’re going to follow this up,” said Murderess. 

“I can say with ninety-nine point nine percent certainty?” she squeaked. “I’m s-sorry if I offended you in some way?”

Hope nodded. “Thank you, you've been very helpful,” she said. “Please forgive my colleague for being so impatient.”

Hope was quiet on the way back out of the ship. Murderess got the impression she was annoyed. It was a feeling Murderess shared. “The intel was too vague,” she said, certain Hope was thinking along the same lines.

“We’re looking for someone who’s part of BLADE and flies a skell with an Urban frame,” said Hope. Her voice was lukewarm. “I’d say that narrows the field considerably.”

“If the Ma’non was correct.”

“Yes,” said Hope. She sighed and her bad mood seemed to dissipate in a mere moment. “You’re right. Although she was fairly certain, she did say she might have been wrong. And who knows, the skell she saw might have belonged to someone completely uninvolved.” 

“If I were going to burgle someone, I’d use the Urban,” said Murderess. “It’s one of the most common models, so it doesn't stand out. It’s lightweight and it doesn't make a lot of noise, so it’s perfect for making a quick getaway.”

“The perpetrator entered through windows that would have been difficult, if not impossible to climb up to. That all points to use of a skell,” said Hope. “We should check the BLADE hangar logs and see whose skell was out at the time of the robberies.”

“You’re not bad at this detective thing,” said Murderess, relieved Hope seemed placated. “Perhaps you should rethink your career.”

“Oh no,” said Hope. “I'm perfectly happy as a mediator. I'm just doing this as a favour for a friend.”

“But we are getting paid,” said Murderess. “Aren't we?”

“Yes, you’ll get what you were promised,” said Hope. “Let’s head to the BLADE tower. OK?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm having fun playing with the dynamic I think these two would have. Right now neither of them are very sure of each other. I think it's basically like this-  
> Hope: She can't be that nasty. Can she?  
> Murderess: She can't be that nice. Can she?
> 
> I hope Murderess's fear of the teleport wasn't too silly. It was a cute moment I came up with as I sat down to write.


	3. Chapter 3

The BLADE tower was a formidable structure. Murderess looked at the number blinking on the screen and tried not to think about what little time they had left to find the Lifehold Core. Actually, she tried not to think about anything related to the Lifehold if she could help it. The thought of her real body inanimately controlling her mim made her feel queasy for some reason. She tried to focus on something else, like the fact her no-good thieving instincts were screaming at her to bolt from the tower faster than a Nopon towards a treasure box. 

“We should speak to Secretery Nagi,” said Hope. “He’ll have the skell logs.”

Murderess grumbled her assent. 

“Are you alright?” asked Hope. “You seem on edge.”

Damn her and her perceptiveness! 

“I’m not on edge,” hissed Murderess. Poor Hope looked a bit taken aback but she didn’t question Murderess any further. So she was sensitive as well as perceptive. Perhaps Murderess shouldn’t have expected anything less from the angel of New LA. 

As luck would have it, Nagi was absent and Hope was crushed. Murderess tried not to look too relieved. 

“We’ll have to come back later,” said Hope, as Murderess all but dragged her back out of the door and into the warm air of the city. “What should we do now?”

“Have some fun,” said Murderess. She’d had quite enough for one day and besides, the skell logs were the only lead they had. They’d just have to wait for Nagi to come back from wherever it was he’d gone.

XxX

The amount of effort Murderess had to put in to get Hope to come to dinner with her was more than she’d exerted for a long, long time. The excuses came thick and fast:

“Oh no, it’s far too expensive.”

“Then we’ll go somewhere cheaper.”

“But I promised I’d help the church raise money for-”

“You can help them another time.”

“I don’t know if I’ve even got any civilian clothes clean.”

“Then come wearing nothing but your bra and panties.”

“You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“Nope. I always get what I want. And I want to get to know you.”

“Why would you want to get to know me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Hope had blushed then. She’d tried to hide it, turning her face away, and Murderess had fought very, very hard to stop herself from gleefully pointing it out. Usually she wouldn’t hesitate to do so but on this occasion she didn’t want to risk Hope running off on her. Her patience was rewarded- finally, finally Hope agreed to dinner. Only at Army Pizza, but it was better than nothing.

“Wear something cute,” said Murderess, which wasn’t what she really wanted to say, but she had the distinct feeling that _Wear something sexy_ would have gone down like a lead balloon. It occurred to her that there was probably some meaning behind her self censorship but she pushed it aside. It’s just a game, she reminded herself. If Hope didn’t want to play, she’d had plenty of opportunities to dissuade the Murderess. But she hadn’t. 

XxX

Army Pizza was jampacked. Murderess could see Ma’non, Ma’non and more Ma’non. There were a few human customers scattered here and there and a bewildered looking Prone couple but the air was filled with shrill, piping voices. The tables were piled high with plates and plates of pizza. Anxious looking waitresses were darting back and forth with empties. Murderess began to wonder if the fastest way to get money was to perhaps start her own pizza restaurant. Nothing wrong with a little healthy competition and there was certainly plenty of demand. She was just daydreaming about Hope serving pizza in a skimpy maid costume when the real Hope turned up. 

Sadly, she wasn’t wearing a maid costume- just jeans and a well fitted hoodie.

“Sorry, I’m late,” said Hope. “Murderess…?”

Murderess did her best to wipe off her lecherous expression and remember some of the nuances of human interaction. Including hello. And perhaps she could get away with a kiss on the cheek? A little sophisticated for Army Pizza but whatever. Hope looked startled but didn’t move away.

They ordered a pizza to share, just a basic margherita. It was the cheapest date Murderess had been on by far (if one could call it a date). It was refreshing to meet someone whose taste didn’t begin and end with expensive and yet at the same time…

Murderess was getting an extremely odd urge. The urge she had was to spend money and more specifically spend money on a hugely extravagant dinner for Hope. Why? She did her best to ignore it. She needed to save, not spend, if she was to restore her family’s fortune.

“So, a day in the life of Hope Alanzi,” said Murderess. “Describe it to me.”

“It’s really not anything exciting…” said Hope. “But if you insist…”

Hope described her daily routine. She split her time in the residential district between the church and the park. A lot of people came to her for help with personal problems related to money, romance or work. But if Cross came to her for help, she would venture outside New LA. It was these missions that she seemed to enjoy describing the most. She spoke of marriage between a human and a Prone, rescuing lost dogs from Primordian indigens and saving a Nopon from becoming part of a Ganglion feast. 

“So you see, all I want is to help the citizens of New LA,” Hope finished. “I want to bring them fortune and happiness. That’s my life goal.”

“How very noble,” said Murderess. 

“You can laugh at me if you want,” said Hope. “But that’s what my father taught me to do and what drives me. Better that than-” she paused.

“Being like me, you mean?” said Murderess. 

“I wondered,” said Hope diplomatically. “If perhaps you have a problem you’d like to share with me?”

“Oh, Hope,” sighed Murderess. “I thought you’d never ask...I’ve got so many I don’t know where to begin…”

“I’ve got time,” Hope said softly. 

“First of all,” said Murderess, lowering her voice so Hope had to lean in, “I want to order dessert- but you haven’t finished your pizza yet.”

Hope sat back, looking dumbfounded. Then she began to laugh, her pretty face relaxing. “That certainly is a dilemma,” she said. “Perhaps I’d better stop talking and eat something.”

“Get to it,” said Murderess sitting back firmly in her seat, arms folded like a drill sergeant. “And I suppose I should tell you the real reason I asked you here.

“It’s long been my belief that humans-” and here Murderess took a pause for dramatic effect “-are awful, self-serving, greedy, heartless creatures. And that they’re also as a rule, really, really stupid.”

Hope looked like she wanted to protest and opened her mouth but unfortunately it was still filled with pizza. Murderess held up a hand to silence her. 

“So I wanted to know why you were falling over yourself to help such creatures. I suppose I wanted to know if you were truly selfless. From talking to you I’ve understood one thing- you love humans. Absolutely, completely, totally. And that interests me, Hope. You’re a fascinating woman.”

Hope shook her head. “Then I suppose for me it’s the opposite. I want to know why you hate people so much. And why you’re so dedicated to accumulating wealth at any cost. What happened to you?”

Murderess smiled. “That’s a story for another day, my dear.”

XxX

Murderess gallantly insisted on walking Hope back to the residential district.

“There’s really no need,” said Hope. “I can look after myself.”

“I know you can,” said Murderess. “Consider it a favour to me. I’ll feel much better if I know I’ve safely walked you to your door.”

“I suppose that’s one favour I can grant you,” said Hope. “Especially as we still have-”

Her words were drowned out as a skell came hurtling towards them from the direction of Ishmael Hills. It was an Urban model and usually seeing it would be inconsequential. But in the district at this time- a similar time to the other robberies- Murderess quickly put the pieces together. 

“Stop!” she said, running into its path. Too late she realised that the pilot had no intention of stopping, whether she was in the way or not. She suddenly felt something smash into her from the side and thought she’d been hit but then she realised no, there were human arms dragging her out of the road and away and-

The skell spend on its way. 

Murderess hauled herself up from the sidewalk, dazed. Hope was beside her, alert, asking if she was hurt. 

“You saved me,” said Murderess. And then she grabbed Hope by the shoulders and brought her mouth down onto hers, in a firm, passionate, so-glad-to-be-alive kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't promise regular updates, so I'm sorry for that but rest assured that I have this fic planned and I will see it through to the end.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, writing it has been fun.


	4. Chapter 4

Hope's initial reaction to the kiss was everything Murderess hoped it would be. As they broke apart, her face flushed an interesting red colour and she suddenly seemed unable to make eye contact.

"You just kissed me!" she spluttered.

"I did."

"But you're- you're a woman!"

"So?"

Hope appeared to think about it.

"Are you like this with everyone you work with?" she asked.

"Are you implying I'm some sort of hussy?" Murderess demanded. “That I go around kissing everyone?”

"N-no," said Hope. "I just thought-" Then she shook her head and swung round to face the direction the Skell had gone. While Murderess conceded this was of some concern, she was far more interested in what Hope had thought. Unfortunately, she was out of luck. 

"We should have chased it. Let's wait for it at the hangar," Hope said. "It'll have to go back there at some point."

Murderess supposed she shouldn't be disappointed that Hope hadn't proclaimed the kiss the greatest thing to happen in her short, young life. Murderess would again have to stretch her least favourite virtue. Patience. She let it go. For now. 

Xxx

The Skell hangar was buzzing as always. Going inside always made Murderess feel a bit like an insect darting around the mechanical feet of great lumbering metal beasts.

Hope didn’t seem to care about the skells but she also did not seem too keen on any sort of eye contact. Murderess trailed along in her wake until Hope stopped and started talking to a BLADE who appeared to be named Mark. She grudgingly introduced Murderess but then they started rambling on about some sort of church-y nonsense.

Bored, Murderess spun on her heel and headed towards the skell storage area. She hated to admit it to herself but now she was feeling a bit hurt. She deserved more than this, didn't she? Was it so greedy to want the object of her (admittedly barely formed and fickle) affections to pay her more attention?

"Hey! Wait!" Hope caught up with her. "We're supposed to be working together!"

"You seemed busy," said Murderess. "Far too busy to waste time with little old me."

"Don't be like that," said Hope. "Come on, I wasn't talking that long.”

Before either of them could continue arguing, Miles, a senior BLADE rounded the corner, chatting to somebody at his side. They were blonde, had a pretty amazing figure and-

The figure looked up and met Murderess’s eye. And Murderess blinked, unable to comprehend for a second that she was looking at her very own face. Her mind worked fast- ah yes, weren’t there Xenos who could make themselves look like copies? And hadn’t the last person who’d been copied actually been-

Beside her, there was a click, a whirr and the sound of steel as Hope drew her weapons.

XxX

“What on earth is going on?” said the false Murderess (Despite everything, Murderess gave the imposter points for using human lingo). 

“You’re one of those no good Xenos who imitate people, aren’t you! Aren’t you?” said the imposter, extending a pointed finger in a gesture that was almost theatrical. 

Murderess gave it a withering look. “You’ve got my face right but you’re making me sound far too camp,” she complained. “It’s embarrassing.”

“What-what’s going on here?” asked Miles.

“One of them is a Definian,” said Hope. She sounded very calm considering she had her knife pointed close to Murderess’s back. 

“Keep up, there’s a dear,” said Murderess. “Now we’re supposed to argue over which of us is the real me and which is the imposter.”

“No need,” said Hope. She sounded as though something had suddenly clicked together in her head. “I already know that one’s the fake,” she said, moving closer to the Murderess standing next to Miles, weapons at the ready. 

“How?” asked Murderess.

“You kissed me,” said Hope. “Miles, don’t let the imposter get away.”

Miles made a grab for the fake Murderess and as soon as his hand made contact the illusion fell away and before them stood a Definian in all her buxom glory. She wasn’t too happy about being apprehended and elbowed Miles in the face. He fell down and she put one foot to his back. 

“Let me go or the bloke gets it,” she said. 

“You’re in a BLADE military base surrounded by BLADEs and skells,” said Murderess. “This isn’t your finest hour. Let him go, or you’ll ‘get it’.”

The Definian gave a deep sigh, making her chest heave. Then she slowly and deliberately brought her wrist up. On it was a small wristwatch like item that pulsed green. Murderess drew her swords, assuming it was a weapon. But instead, after pressing a button on it, the Definian disappeared. The shimmer that was left behind, Murderess thought, was not unlike the one that appeared when people used the Ma’non teleport to board their ship. 

XxX

Another robbery was reported to BLADE. The Definian had made off with a pocketful of gold jewellery that belonged to Mrs. E. Gellar. Murderess and Hope sat on the wall in front of BLADE tower, Murderess people watching and Hope shuffling through the skell logs she’d finally managed to get her hands on. 

“All the victims are human,” Murderess pointed out. “I wonder if that’s by coincidence or by design?”

Hope was quiet and had been since the Definian had made her appearance. She was looking at several sheets of paper that been printed from the BLADE servers. They showed skells who had been in the Residential District at the time of the robberies. She was chewing her lip. 

“Hope!” said Murderess. “Hello?”

“What?” Hope snapped. Murderess hadn’t known Hope long, but she’d known her long enough to know that such an outburst was out of character. 

“...Are you OK?” Murderess asked.

“I’m fine,” said Hope. “Sorry. I just...don’t really care for Definians.”

“Yeah,” said Murderess. “I heard that you fought them before. And that one of them was pretending to be you.”

“They’re strong,” said Hope. Murderess sensed that there was more but instead Hope pushed the skell logs towards her. 

“There’s no correlation,” said Hope. “There’ve been different pilots around at every robbery.”

“She must imitate a different BLADE every time,” said Murderess. “That’s what I would do.”

“And you said the only link between the victims is that they’re human?”

“And wealthy. Obviously.”

“But what would a Definian want with gold? Does that even have any worth on Mira?”

“Maybe Definians like shiny things as much as humans? Or Ma’non? Which reminds me...there was something I wanted to take a look at.”

XxX

Murderess led Hope up the steps and to the left of BLADE tower. 

Hope seemed confused. “The Ma’non teleporter?”

“Yep. Look, they’re about to step on.”

The ‘them’ in question were a pair of Orpheans. Their conversation was hard to follow but it seemed to be about the logic of cheesemaking. In a shimmer of light, the two of them disappeared.

“Like the Definian. It’s like when she teleported,” said Hope.

“I wonder if any Ma’non have been robbed recently?” pondered Murderess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update-presto!   
> Thank you to everyone who has kudos'd and commented.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slightly longer one to make up for the infrequent updates.  
> Sorry guys.  
> But anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

Murderess was in luck. She’d thought that she was going to have to step through the Ma’non teleporter again. Even thinking about it had made her feel green about the gills. But Hope managed to weasel some information out of a Candid and Credible merchant who she’d apparently know for, like, forever.The Ma’non expert on teleportation devices was rumoured to be named Vivi and haunt the Industrial District. And she kept irregular hours- which was good, because it was almost midnight.

What the merchant hadn’t known was where to find her. 

“Let’s start at the diner,” said Murderess and Hope agreed.

That was their first mistake. The place was absolutely heaving with drunk mechanics, builders and tradesmen. Booze and cooperation never went hand in hand and it was no different here- everyone was pushing and shoving to get past each other and Murderess could hear impatient shouting at the bar. The floor was disgustingly sticky, splattered with miscellaneous sauces and liquids and who knew what. Murderess trod gingerly, thankful she was in her ground gear and not anything particularly expensive. Huddled in one corner next to the jukebox (which was playing ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ of all things) were a few bewildered looking Ma’non chowing down on hotdogs. Murderess fought her way over to them, though she had no idea how she was going to conduct a conversation with them over the chaotic noise of banjos. She glanced back for Hope- and saw her talking to yet another man who was probably one of her bestest friends. Even from a distance Murderess could tell he was handsome- it was something in the way he stood. Hope was smiling prettily and Murderess was just wondering if she should go and intervene before things got too cosy when something bumped into her. 

A Ma’non ricocheted off her and landed snout down on the mucky floor. Murderess’s anger turned to mild amusement when she saw the ketchup smeared across her front gave her outfit a nice bloodstained look to it. She had a reputation to uphold after all. 

The Ma’non looked despondently at its empty hotdog bun, examining it for any signs of the missing sausage, which Murderess spotted below her right heel where she’d stumbled onto it. The Ma’non met her gaze with wet, beseeching eyes. 

“I’ll have to buy a new one, won’t I?” His shrill voice over the top of 'Cotton Eye Joe' was an aural nightmare but his sorrow moved even the Murderess. Perhaps…

“Do you know a scientist called Vivi?” she shouted. 

“Vivi the teleport expert?”

Bingo! Murderess had bagged them another lead. “Yes.”

“No, I have no idea who you mean?” replied the Ma’non.

“You just called her ‘the teleport expert.’”

“But I don’t know her, do I?”

Murderess needed Hope and needed her now. She was no good at gently chivvying information out of people. The Ma’non was already looking around her towards the bar, intent on more food- she had to think fast.

“If you take me to her, I’ll buy you another hotdog,” she said. Bribery was cheap (yet expensive) but it was a universal concept. Aliens and humans were both partial to it. And besides, once the case was solved she'd gain more than ten times the amount of credits she was about to lose.

“Truly?” asked the Ma’non. 

“Yes,” said Murderess through gritted teeth. 

“I want _all_ of the hotdogs, how about it?” declared the Ma’non. 

“I will buy you one of every kind of hotdog this place sells,” said Murderess, knowing when she was cornered. “Take it or leave it.”

-  
A few minutes later and Murderess had a list of coordinates saved into Frontier Nav and the Ma’non (whose name was Srekek) had a whole pile of hotdogs. Now all that was left to do was find Hope and they could be on their way. 

Where had she got to, anyway? Murderess surveyed the crowd but still couldn’t spot her. She had to resort to checking her location on FrontierNav. She mindlessly followed the pulsing speck and found herself at the bar. She heard a tinkling laugh and immediately spotted Hope, beer in one hand and the other idly twirling her hair while she listened to her handsome friend slurring out some story that involved a...grex? Murderess couldn’t hear too well. 

Either way, she was interrupting this lovely tete-a-tete. They had their lead, they were leaving and quite frankly she was surprised to see Hope drinking on the job.

"Hope," she said. "I know where to go."

"Are you bleeding?" asked Hope, her eyes very wide. She had clocked the ketchup stains.

"No," said the Murderess. "But thank you for your concern."

"Is someone else?" asked Hope.

"No!"

"Is this the Murderess?" interrupted her 'friend.' "I heard you were hanging with her lately, Hope."

Upon closer inspection, he was slightly _too_ handsome. The kind of handsome that meant large amounts of preening and hair gel were involved because there was no way his hair had just decided to defy gravity by itself. 

"I'm the one and only," said Murderess. "If you'll excuse us, we have to be going."

"If a good girl like Hope can stay for a drink, there's no reason you can't. I'll even buy it for you. I don't mind having a drink with a murderer. As long as you don't murder ME."

Murderess smiled superciliously and decided there was little point in explaining that she didn't actually kill people.

"But I can't afford to buy _you_ one," said Murderess, smiling stiffly (which was true, she'd spent her funds on hotdogs).

"Hmmmm..." said Hope. "Maybe we should get going. Sorry Rob."

"Don't be like that Hope. I thought we were friends," wheedled Rob.

"Of course I'm your friend," said Hope.

"Then stay. Finish your drink. It's just one."

-

Two drinks later and Hope was thoroughly sloshed.

"There's two Robs," she said dreamily. "I want to dance."

"C'mon then, Hopey," said Rob. 

They disappeared into the crowd, leaving Murderess to contemplate whether she should just grab Hope's leftover beer and run. Alright, so previously she'd been the one who'd suggested they take a break by going out to eat but this was so not her idea of fun. Her patience was running thin. The problem was that everyone knew Hope- it was proving both convenient and inconvenient. Murderess was almost glad people tended to avoid her- no obligations, no mess, no drinking at diners. 

If Hope was going to be so easily distracted, then Murderess would just have to catch the culprit herself. 

Just as Murderess was about to make a move, there was shouting in the direction Hope had gone and then she returned, sans her bezzie mate Rob.

"I think we should leave now," Hope said mildly but there was a nervous undertone to her voice. Murderess was about to ask if Rob needed a good beating for taking advantage when a Prone woman bore down upon them.

"Hey! You get back here, tramp."

Hope gulped. Murderess didn't flinch. A sheepish Rob was trying to communicate something via sign language behind the Prone's back but Murderess had no idea what. 

"You not steal my man," said the Prone.

"You can keep him, he's a loser anyway," said Murderess, moving in front of Hope. Rather than listening to her though, the angry Prone went in to punch her. As the alien fist came flying towards her face, Murderess found herself wondering whether she was attacking because of Hope's supposed intention of 'stealing her man' or whether she was just angry because Murderess had called him a loser. Did they even have the word 'loser' in Prone language? 

It was too late for her to duck and it would have been a solid punch, if Hope hadn't suddenly hurled herself at their adversary.

"Hi-yah!" Hope said triumphantly, her kick leaving the xenoform sprawled on the floor. The Prone let out an angry cry that seemed to vibrate off the walls and most of the other patrons stopped in their tracks. They looked about them confused, and aware of all eyes turning their way-

"Run," said Murderess.  
-

Their escape from the diner had been less than spectacular. Hope had tried to run the wrong way, the pair of them had knocked countless drinks from patron's hands and it was a wonder they hadn't been chased by anyone keen on enforcing the law. Still, at least out in New LA there was room to take a breath. And Murderess was sure that everyone in the diner would have forgotten about it before too long- whether through alcohol consumption or their own weariness.

"Water," said Murderess. "Drink it."

She dangled the bottle tantalisingly in front of Hope's dazed face. They had run right to the end of the industrial district, virtually to the gate out into Mira. The cool Miran air was making Hope shiver. Her jacket had been left behind, their sharp exit leaving no time for them to reclaim it. 

Hope drank. 

"Thannk you," she said, giving a gentle hiccup.

"I should be the one thanking you. You saved me from a black eye," said Murderess.

"You're not really a bad person, are you?" asked Hope. "I mean, as long as money isn't involved anyway."

"And you Hope, you're more of a troublemaker than you first seem. Even if it isn't intentional."

"I didn't know Rob was seeing someone else. Let alone someone so...powerful."

Murderess laughed. It felt good. She carried on laughing. Then she realised she couldn't stop. It was like the day's madness had caught up with her. She had nearly been run down with a skell. She had kissed Hope. She had bought a Ma'non hotdogs. She laughed some more.

"Are you OK?" asked Hope, her eyebrows arching with concern. 

And that Hope was concerned about _her_ , the angel of New LA worrying about the Murderess, made her laugh even more.  
But then her breath hitched and her laughter caught in her throat. Hope had hold of her hand and was tugging her closer. Murderess could feel her stupid mim heartbeat battering against her stupid mim ribcage as Hope wrapped her arms around her and held her close. It had been a long time since anyone had hugged the Murderess. In its own way, it was almost as good as the next best thing- a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I haven't completed all of the affinity quests for either Murderess or Hope so my characterisation may be slightly off. Apologies.


End file.
